i.
Look, I understand,
their charm is undeniable,
but still, I think it’s a bad idea
to adopt a howler monkey as a pet.
Given their intelligence,
it’s more like gaining a roommate.
ii.
Imagine, just for a moment,
the peculiar scenario of harboring a howler monkey
within the confines of your city dwelling.
A creature, whose voice famously ascends
to the cacophonous crescendo of jet engines,
a symphonic uproar unleashed at a staggering 140 decibels.
Consider the anarchy as this arboreal denizen,
in a midnight moment of culinary inspiration,
decides to venture into the art of baking banana bread.
His innocent request for assistance with the oven
mutates into an ear-splitting soundstorm,
rattling windows, inciting canine choirs,
rousing the community into an angry uproar.
Visualize the scenario, as you,
transformed into an apologetic envoy,
repeatedly navigate the maze of your apartment complex,
whispering words of reassurance,
defending the presence of this tiny, turbulent creature.
His existence in your domestic sphere, a notable anomaly;
a wild chorus juxtaposed against urbanity’s backdrop.
Night after night, you lie awake,
earplugs tight, thoughts racing wild,
not knowing when the next peace-shattering howl will come.
Disturbing daydreams morph into desperate plotting,
a glowing screen illuminates queries,
as you ponder the boundaries of legality,
the ethics of tranquility…
a return to a life of quiet normalcy,
free from primate-induced pandemonium.
The phrase scream bloody murder comes to mind,
a harbinger of devious plans doomed to fail,
ensuring dark deeds will likely remain undone,
lest convicted felons become your future roommates.
And with that image of a noisy prison cell,
a stark realization finally settles –
howler monkeys, with their forest songs,
belong not in spare bedrooms but in the wild,
where their cries compose the symphony of the jungle,
not the soundtrack of urban insomnia.
iii.
I really do understand.
Their charm is absolutely undeniable.
Yet still, I maintain that it’s unwise
to adopt a howler monkey as a pet.
And while I know this was uncomfortable,
I think it was important that we had
this challenging conversation.
The Truth About Tigers 